420 ftw
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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