I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize