Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Soap is not a condiment
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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