the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize