My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize