Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
