If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize