You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Come on in and take your pants off
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
