Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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