my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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