Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
