I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
