if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize