Dual....:-)
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just sucked dick on a ferry
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
