Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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