just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
