Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So vagazzling was a success
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize