This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
a search helicopter?!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
