so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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