Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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