we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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