No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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