Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
