she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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