and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
