I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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