Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
