If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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