I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
