just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
