I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
