ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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