either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
