wrigley field is MILF paradise
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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