omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
