sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
