just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
