So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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