Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
