Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize