I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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