'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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