Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Im part way to drunk.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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