I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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