I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
