either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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