Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
