My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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