do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
