PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
