I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
