Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
