shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize