I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
