So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
