first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I've blown a few things in my day
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
