Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
