i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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