Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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