so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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