so that wasnt chicken after all
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
