he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
