K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
