i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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