I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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