the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
