Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
