Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
