your parents love me but you hate me
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
