Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
