Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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