My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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