I accidentally burped into my bong.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
