Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
