That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
